all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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