I wanna bring you to show and tell
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
