It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
