Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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