How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
