I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
