He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
