Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
