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• (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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• (914): View more from New York

  You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?

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• (631): View more from New York

  Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  A+ Viking dick

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  whatcha doing?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  lying in bed pretending to be a slug

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I hope that wasn't done on billed time

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can guarantee that it was

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