im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
