I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
