is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you had me at cake vodka
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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