We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
