You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
