we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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