she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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