mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
