So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
