ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
