Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
