exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
