You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize