i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
