ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
