She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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