If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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