I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize