They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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