I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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