Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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