Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
