I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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