I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
