i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
