yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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