...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
