Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
