Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
handjob tips. give me some.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
