should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize