Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
