That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
