I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
