I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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