the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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