Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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