this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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