his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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