Plan B is the new Plan A
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize