and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
