Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
