She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
