there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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