My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
