I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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