is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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