I would go down on you faster than GM stock
do herpes really smell.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
