i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
