Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
