Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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