I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
