You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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