i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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