I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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