Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
