at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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