This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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