Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
