Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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