If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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