If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
