You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
