I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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