her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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