Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
