I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
