I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
