I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
