Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
In America we eat man semen.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
