Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
