Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
