Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
