did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
