I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
