BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
