My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You made out with two different species that night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
