2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize