see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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