Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were destined to go to rehab together
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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